Give It: A Book

In late 2008, my friend Lizette sent me a copy of The Hunger Games.

It changed my life. It made me want to write young adult fiction. By the end of that year, I had a manuscript, an agent, and a community of writing friends.

The Hunger Games was compelling, not just in its story, but in how the book compelled me, literally. Not only did it inspire me to write, it made me want to talk about writing and books with everyone - even people who didn't care.

I gave away over 35 copies of the book that year. About half of the recipients talked to me about the book. Of them, half gave copies to their own friends and family. A select few became as compulsive as I was about the book.

Here's an illustration of the effect. Just a tiny portion - the half I gave the book to that talked to me about it. Who they gave new copies to. It doesn't even include our general raving about the book, or how many strangers I went up to in bookstores, screaming like a banshee, "YOU MUST READ THIS!"

Now, when I meet the friends of friends who have read it, I feel instantly connected to them. It's like this book is a litmus test for whether you're a good person. (Are you?)

So maybe you don't feel that way about The Hunger Games (why not????), but I hope you find your own book to compel you.

(sorry this is so unreadable! i'm graphics lame!)

Avoid It: Awkward Hugging

A friend of mine has started dating and apparently "the hug" is the socially acceptable way to end dates when it's too early for liplock and you like the person enough not to shake their hand.

The problem is, my friend's not a hugger. Her previous hug attempts have been awkward. I mean, dropping a guy off post-date so he can commute home already reeks of awkwardness. Throw in a hug from an awkward hugger and we're living in a bad sitcom.

As a prolific hugger (I give 'em away like samples at the farmer's market, people, don't think you're special), I wanted to offer her, and any other awkward huggers out there, some advice:

1. Missionary is Best. Chest to chest. Don't make me hug your bony shoulder. Especially if it hits me right in the sternum. Also, don't rear your head back. Feel free to get head-on-head contact. Close your eyes. Go crazy.

2. Don't Finish Early. The hug isn't going on nearly as long as you think it is. Give yourselves the opportunity to sink in. TAKE A BREATH. Count to three one-thousand in your head. Five one-thousand if you're feeling fesity.

3. NO PETTING! Hugging has no foreplay. Do *not* pet the person on the back. I can't emphasize this enough. The second you pat someone's back, the hug has gone south.

4. No sweetalk. No talkie during huggy time. Huggy during huggie time, you feel me?

5. Location, Location. Don't hug inside a vehicle for a first-time hug. You should both be OUT of the vehicle. Standing. (There *is* a way to hug in a car but this is advanced hugging and not for naturally awkward huggers.)

Now that you have the rules, feel free to practice. You have friends for a reason. And unlike with kissing and sex, praticing hugs on your friends doesn't lead to awkward eye-avoidance the next day.

Now Go Forth! Get Your Hug On!

Watch It: Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus

What do Teen Sensation Debbie Gibson, Renegade heartthrob Lorenzo Lamas, and Stanford Engineer Vic Chao (aka "Handsome Asian Man" in Special Unit 2) in have in common? They starred in sci-fi meltdown Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus.



Genius like this deserves a crowd viewing.

So I got together some sushi platters...



...themed beer...


...asian-based seafood snacks...


...the appropriate attire...


...willing victims...

...and special guest stars Pete Richards (aka Vic Chao's college dorm mate) and myself (aka girl who lived in the same town as Lorenzo Lamas' kid AJ, current star of reality TV show Living with Lamas).

(Pete with his family. Son Selim is not too impressed with Lamas' dramatic scene)

Everyone picked either Team Octopus or Team Shark to survive the ordeal. We were almost evenly split at 5 to 6 (with Selim remaining neutral).

There was debate as to whether the shark or the octopus constituted the "underdog" and I won't ruin the surprise as to tell you which side won. Because I think we know when Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas star in a movie, everyone's a winner.

Watch It: VW Jetta "Big Day" Commercial

Over at Yarn-A-Go-Go, Rachael posted the best music video ever for containing internal and external conflict as well as character motivation and hand-to-hand combat in a six minute video. That's HARD.

But my personal favorite "best video ever" is a commercial which I think accomplishes this is under a minute (sans hand-to-hand combat) with a cliffhanger that left me screaming.



The music is gorgeous. I was half in love with Kevin Rahm, the actor in the car, by the end of it. Less than sixty seconds, and I absolutely cared about him and wanted to know what happened next. Hell, what happened before.

Even though this commercial aired nearly nine years ago, I still remember it and think about it from time to time.

Try It: Flamenco Dance

In the name of research, I joined Whitney Miller at a flamenco class.

It went a little something like this:



Things I was expected:
- stomping
- clapping

Things I wasn't expecting:
- sweat
- thirst

All in all - good times!

Stop It: Blaming The Victim

My love for the Twilight Saga is strong, but that doesn't mean I'm blind to it's faults.

Is a 109 year old vamp digging on a teen chick sweet?
Is baby love, imprint or no, okay in my book?
Is obsessing over a dude 24x7 and ditching your friends acceptable?

No. No. No.

Is the relationship between Edward and Bella abusive? Debate it all you want. But don't debate this:

Is Team Edward Enabling Domestic Violence?

I'm a certified domestic violence counselor. I have been in direct contact with a myriad of victims of domestic abuse and their family members. I will literally shit a brick for you if one of them says, "But it worked out for Bella."

While the article itself makes no claims either way, the title's implication is this:

If you read Twilight, you may think the relationship between Edward and Bella is acceptable and you may stay in an abusive relationship. Therefore YOU, the VICTIM have enabled domestic violence.

You know what enables domestic violence? Dumb shit frakked up thinking that would rather put the onus for violence on the victim, on the media, on a kid's book or hell even on poverty, life circumstances, and troubled childhoods instead exactly where it belongs - in the hands of the abuser.

This is the same kind of thinking that was more obsessed with whether Rihanna would set an example for victims than whether Chris Brown would set an example for abusers.

Yes, I wish all abuse victims could stand up for themselves, but when they can't, don't be the one that slaps them down. They already have someone in their lives who fills that role.