Watch It: The Vampire Diaries
My line by line spoilertastic stream-of-thought review of the pilot (at Bill's request) while watching. (*not a review of LJ Smith's Vampire Diaries novel series which, for the record, is hella awesome, ahead of its time, and full of risks*)
ugh, voiceover. hate voiceovers.
yeah, i get it vampire dude, you keep a diary.
ooooh, evil vampire with a bad case of fog is in town killing people.
wait - the ANGSTY HEROINE also keeps a diary?
you mean i gotta listen to TWO lame ass voiceovers??
AGHAGHAGH
hmmm - LITTLE BRO is cute and kinda interesting.
blah blah i'm an orphan blah blah so sad blah blah.
SASSY FRIEND might be psychic - cool angle.
blah blah i'm so misunderstood and popular blah blah
man i am not into this "STEFAN" guy as a romantic interest.
also not into this ex-bfriend football jock "MATT" as romantic third wheel.
i could srsly beat the shit out of both these dudes with a phone book if i had to.
great - both diary keeping lameasses are awash in angsty issues - wah wah wah.
hmm - LITTLE BRO is popping up again on my radar -
he deals with issues with drugs and sex instead of journaling -
okay in real life you should journal, but guess what,
i don't want to watch your real life on television.
uh oh - fog-vampire strikes again!
run STEFAN, you pansy, run from the blood!
ah, fog dude is DAMON aka STEFAN's bro. and HOT. and Ian Somerhalder.
things are looking up.
(note to parents: naming your kid DAMON ups his chances of turning out evil)
Vampire fight! Vampire fight! Vampire fight!
turns out lame-ass ANGSTY HEROINE may be some past life reincarnation -
of a chick both dudes were into that may have led to their mutual hatred.
guess what guys -
knowing her in a past life doesn't make the jail bait angle any less icky -
just so we're clear: past life defense does *not* work on statuatory rape charges
i don't care if you look eighteen.
on the inside you're a crusty old dude.
who am i kidding.
this show is a guilty pleasure treasure trove.
and DAMON'S hot.
i'll watch.
Labels: ET Review
posted by Martha Flynn @ 9:54 AM
13 Comments:
Damon is soooooooo hot. Where has he been hiding my entire TV-watching life?!!
He was "LOST" for a couple of years on an island in the middle of nowhere. =)
At that time, they called him, Boone.
~d~
Woohoo! Just watched it today and yep...lots of cute boys to drool over. I feel like such a cougar freak! Ah well...
Hey! One of my best friends growing up was named Damon. Not evil...then again not hot either. Srsly, sorry to Damon if he somehow finds this and reads it. You were cool, and awesome and funny and all those other things. Great...now I have comment guilt.
Oh Adrienne, it's not fair to compare your Damon to too-hot-too-live Damon. Perhaps your Damon is fair by human standards??
Lisa, Damon is, at least, my age. Whew!
anne marie and dee tee - he was also on Young Americans and Smallville!
This is great! I was looking on Itunes for another series to watch and I saw this series. So it's interesting to see your halarious low down.
I am honored to have inspired a blog post from you Martha! Unfortunately this means I'll have to watch it. I also find your post kinda sexist - how about some comments about the women on the show!
Ha! Love the candid thoughts! I watched about half of it til my satellite receiver froze. Will have to catch it again!
Wing's take on Damon: "why is that guy always playing someone's brother?"
Ah Bill, if you want to know about the women you'll just have to watch. But rest assured, the CW does women well.
Kelly, you definitely have to watch the second have when Damon show's up.
Christina - are you adding the show to your repertoire? Hope so!
Wing - let's hope "that guy" doesn't end up making out with his sibling like he did in his last brotherly effort. That would be a whole different show.
ROFLMAO, so many great quotes from this that have me dying "On the inside you are a crusty old dude."
- Alie
HAHAHAHAHAHA awesome running commentary.
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