Watch It: The Beautiful Life: TBL

Top 10 Things I learned from watching The Beautiful Life: TBL.

1. Apparently I need help abbreviating show titles. The mere fact that I'd turned Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles into TSSC was sheer luck. I never would have gotten The Beautiful Life down to three letters on my own.

2. Models. Are bitches. Good ones stomp on the runway. And really good ones live half their professional life in slow motion.

3. Hot Iowa farmboys get scouted by modeling agents - but *only* if they first demonstrate good ol' fashioned values - like respect for the working class. They'll then get amazing modeling gigs. But only if they show good ol' fashioned gumption - like punching out a guy who is trying to make them trade sex for fame.

4. Modelling terms like "go-see" are to be introduced but not explained. You better also watch American's Next Top Model or copious amounts of television to be truly hip to this show.

5. Untucking your shirt from your pants and cuffing your jacket sleeves is the male equivalent of taking off your glasses and undoing your ponytail : hot-boy gold!

6. Ian Somerhalder is friggin' fly (sorry, The Vampire Diaries ad came on)

7. All models have daddy issues. That's why they model.

8. Calle Ocho is the most overexposed song of the fall 2009 season. But I don't mind

9. Cougars are the most overexposed phenomenon of the fall 2009 season. Verdict's still out on them.

10. If you're a model with a heart of gold, then you're not like other models. You're spyeshial. In fact, if you exhibit any kind of heart at all, you're as rare as Sasquatch. Most people are heartless, spineless, soulless wastes of space.