Watch One (guess which): My Sister's Keeper and Transformers 2

I've been diligently involved in movie watching from 5:30pm to 3:30am and will have a blog post up later in the day with my reviews and what I'm pressure sure was an inadvertent CONNIE stalking (although she was behind me in line).

Check back later but until then, please enjoy this other blog post on why I suck so hard at writing.

****UPDATE****

My spoilertastic reviews of My Sister's Keeper and Transformers 2: Revenge of The Fallen - written during the movie.

Already crying during preview for Time Traveller's Wife. This does not bode well for me.

Sister's Keeper premise is simple: a young girl, conceived as donor material for her cancer stricken sister, sues for rights to her body effectively condemning her sister to death.

Don't like this crazy mom vs even tempered dad portrayal. Why are moms always portrayed as crazy?

Joan Cusak as Judge hearing the case = as much emotional punch as the whole book! Damn, she's good.

Thomas Dekker (aka John Connor from the Sarah Connor Chronicles) as the romantic interest - nice! This whole prom sequence between two cancer stricken kids is so devastating.

Must find this mellow version of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun! Great song and I love mellow covers!

Less courtroom drama than expected. Why under utilize Alec Baldwin if you have him?

Movie begs the question - what would you do in this situation? I don't know - I don't ever want to know.

Deathbed scene - kids can be so much better than adults at these things. Why do adults try to make things better when they can't?

Okay - my friend JD just cracked up next to me during the emotional climax of the movie when the mother accepts her child's inevitable death. Apparently Cameron's not doing it for her.

Verdict: very watchable, but multiple timelines and unclaimed narratives make it chaotic.

Trailer for Mayan Prophecy movie 2012 - was hoping to skip this film but Chewitel Ejifor is in it so I must see!!

Onto Transformers 2.

Um...why is Optimus Prime giving me a history lesson? It's 17,000 BC? REALLY? Transformers were amongst us then? Uh oh. This does not bode well for the story.

Hottie Josh Duhamel leads a team of military personnel and Autobots to hunt down Decepticons who are up to something. But what?

Apparently Transformers can smell. Don't ask me how.

Apparently Transformers also fall prey to racial stereotypes. Don't ask me why.

Shia's hilarious parents are making this movie as they ship their kid off to college.

Uh oh - sliver of All Spark cube was dormant in Shia's....shirt. Yes - his shirt!! All shit's about to break loose cuz someone doesn't do his laundry.

Okay - let's limit all movies to one dog humping joke, k?

US Flag Count - 1 (exclusive of uniforms and airplanes)

Uh oh - Prez's lame advisor just gave Decepticons the location of rest of All Spark and their fearless Megatron leader. Crap. They're coming after Shia, the rest of the All Spark AND Megatron now.

Shia's college roommate is a kitten calender entrepreneur and conspiracy theorist. Me likey.

This is some kind of super hot university. Like super duper hot.

Uh oh - only Optimus Prime can kill this one evil "Fallen" dude who is after something on earth. Convenient.

Rainn Wilson from The Office as pompous college professor! He cleans up nice- almost like Joshua Jackson.

Apparently in addition to being super hot university, this is super hot AND slutty university. Oh look -if you're super hot and slutty then you're probably a Decepticon. Run Shia, Run!!! Run Megan, Run! But uh...can Megan run in slow motion? Oh good.

Uh oh - Optimus is dead and Decepticons have had it with fair play - they're coming to take over unless they get Shia whose brain has a map to...something...important...I think.

US Flag #2 on submarine
US Flag #3 on NY bridge.
US Flag #4 on TV in background.

Shia on the run with roommie and hottie Megan Fox - they head straight to John Turturro from the first movie who is now a conspiracy theorist himself and thinks he's seen Transformer symbols all over the world at ancient sites.

US Flag #5 in deli - oh - flags #6 and #7 are old school flags in deli basement.
US Flag #8 in museum hanger where they are going to find an old Decepticon who can decipher old Transformer symbols.

Old Decepticon has switched sides to Autobats and is apparently Scottish? And can teleport. Fine. And likes exposition - as in Shia needs to get to a key before the Decepticons find it and start some crazy machine that will suck the sun's energy. Plus he can probably use the key to bring Optimus Prime back to life so he can kill that Fallen guy.

The key is "protected" by the corpses of seven Prime Transformers who gave their lives to protect the key.

We just resorted to midget humor. Can Josh Duhamel save the world AND this movie? Wait - maybe he can! He's just given the Prez's lame advisor the comedic boot! Woohoo!

We have too many friggin' autobots and too many characters coming in for one liners and I don't care omg I don't care!!! AGH!!!

Woohoo - they have the key although it wasn't that "protected" since uh...they just broke through a flimsy wall and picked it up. Ah, ok, the key just turned to dust. So now Shia's walking around with a sock full of dust.

Josh just manhandled a chicken. That was pretty funny.

Dude you don't need to have the "what if this sock full of dust doesn't work" conversation - we had it like five minutes ago. I get it - it might not work but you BELIEVE it will work and that's enough, great, move on, k?

Shia's super obvious stunt double just ran his little heart out.

Josh Duhamel and Megan Fox just had more chemistry crying over Shia's dead body than Shia and Megan have had the whole entire movie. This is because Josh has chemistry with a chalkboard.

Ok you know that scene where the ninja warrior transcends to another plane to seek wisdom from his ancestors? That just happened. Only instead of ninja warriors it's Shia. And instead of ancestors it's Transformers. And instead of wisdom it's lame advice that makes the sock full of dust reform to a key.

Optimus is brought back to life and he and the Fallen are going toe to toe! Optimus is getting his ass kicked - but here comes old-fogey Scottish Decepticon with his energy source and parts - giving his life so Optimus can live. (Scottish Decepticon just effectively had more character arc than Shia, fyi.)

Optimus wins! Fallen Dies! Megatron declares "this is not over." Trust me...two hours and fifteen minutes into this and I KNOW it's not over yet.

Oh ok...hugs. Kisses. Now it's over. Whew.