Watch It: The Proposal

Before I regale you with my spoilertastic review of The Proposal (written during the movie in real time), let's get a disclaimer out of the way.

In The Proposal, a publishing executive blackmails an assistant into feigning marriage to avoid deportation, but actual sparks fly during their weekend get-to-know-you-so-we-can-fool-the-overly-zealous-INS-agent.

Sandra Bullock = older publishing executive.
Ryan Reynolds = younger (so so so hot) assistant

I'm fine with the age difference - kudos to Sandy not only for this film but for doubling up on on this wish-there-were-another-word-for-it-cougar-phenomenon with Bradley Cooper in her next movie.

But had the movie featured a male boss blackmailing a female assistant (age aside)....I honestly don't know what kind of a taste that would leave it my mouth. But I ignored that. And I'm asking you to ignore that. And here we go:

30 seconds into the movie and Ryan Reynolds is shirtless! Well done gods of gratuitous shirtlessness. Well done.

Hmm...Sandy rules with an iron fist but I don't think you would get far in publishing without being nice (uh oh...ass kissing alert) - most of the agents/editors I've come across have been friendly.

Sandy and Ryan have great riffing/banter/awkward touching thing going on - he's so brilliant @ his shtick. Even his facial expressions are awesome.

Okay - the premise is set - she needs a marriage to avoid deportation; he wants a promotion to editor and they're off to Alaska for his grandmother's 90th birthday weekend to break the news to his parents and get to know each other to pass the INS agent's upcoming test.

Oh look - Ryan Reynolds emoting @ being home! Hot eye acting! Hot eye acting!

Fashion note: Sandy's Louboutin heels + Birkin Bag = aaaawesome. Can editors afford this stuff? Sign me up. Oh no - oh no - Louis Vuitton in the water - save the Louis Vuitton luggage!

Hmm...twist: Ryan Reynolds lives in a McMansion and his family owns this town - he's clearly running from familial obligations to live out publishing dream.

Confirmed --> Ryan Dad + Ryan = issues.

OSCAR FROM THE OFFICE!!!! Playing hilarious overzealous waiter at the party.

Oh hello - Ryan's ex girlfriend. Like that she's nice. No one likes a catty ex-girlfriend - no one respects a guy who would date a catty, unlikeable person - well done, writers.

More great riffing from Ryan and Sandy as they fake a proposal story. Making me remember my love for Ryan from back in the Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place - the show that launched Ryan Reynolds and Nathan Fillion - Casting Genius!

Uh oh - a dog. Dogs in comedies are sorely overused and never cleverly. But dammit I'm still laughing!

Lovely quote from Ryan: "reading books...it makes me happy."

Oscar from the Office - now as stripper character! With awful Jazz Hands!!!

Ryan Reynolds engaged in angry physical labor - haaawwwt - thank you director/writer. Ryan Reynolds stripping? Um...hello. Don't even care that setup is completely unrealistic! Don't care!

1st Tear - Sandra Bullock talking about getting swallows tattoo after parents died.

Ryan singing, "It takes two to make a thing go riiiIIIIght" - how many ways can he be awesome? Infinity?

Oh look - Sandra has taken down her ponytail. Does this mean she's becoming a better person? Only bitches wear ponytails in movies, right?

Lovely quote from Sandra: "I hate nature." Yes, Sandy. Me, too.

OMG a dail up internet connection - do the kids even get this joke. Sigh, dial up days!

2nd Tear - Sandy's getting family love she's never had before.

Oscar from The Office as the marriage priest! Okay...they might be abusing Oscar - but I don't care.

3rd Tear - Sandy turns herself into INS instead of tainting Ryan's happy family with their fake marriage - gaaaahhh!

Oh he's running after her! AH THE KISS!!!! Man, I hate me some Scarlett Johansson-Reynolds right now.